The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
