BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
he fucked my hip out of place.
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Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
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I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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