I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
