yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
