Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
