he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
