Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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