I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize