I feel great
I just peed on a car
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Randomize
