Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize