I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
