well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
