Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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