Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
