He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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