you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
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