just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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