Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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