What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
