There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
