After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
