ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
