My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
