his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
