It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
