we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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