hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
