awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
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$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
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Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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