i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
