she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
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