I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
