I cockslap morals
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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