My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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