About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
