you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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