Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
