He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
