and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
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I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
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Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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