I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize