K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
