Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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