she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
