Got a toothbrush?
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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