So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
