WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
