thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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