the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize