Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
pray to the hookup gods
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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