on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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