Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
