I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
