i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize