a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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