You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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