Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
