i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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