Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I wish I only lived at night.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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