i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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