First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
