dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
