She's JV to your varsity
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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