I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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