wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
