break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
We just shotgunned beers for America
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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