those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
you never un-have a 4some
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
